Friday, September 30, 2011

my Jocelyn

oh man.  What do you say about your first child?! I would like to think that as parents we don't have favorite children, but each child has a special place in your heart. 
Jocelyn Lee was born December 17, 2003. One week before Christmas and 10 days before my one year anniversary to my man. She was a wonderful change in plans. She made us a family. I look at my Jocelyn and my heart breaks with love and regret.  Not regret for having her, but in all the mistakes that I have made since she came into my life. I mean she is my guinea pig. I would like to say i had a decent mothering instinct when she was born but man was I wrong. 
 Since the moment Jocelyn was born she has been a curious child. We have a video of her when she was a day old laying on my dad. The door closed and she lifted her head and looked in the direction of the door. She wants to know EVERYTHING!

Her heart is so innocent and pure. A kind soul. The first to include everyone (except her sister. but i am told that is normal) She really is a great big sister. Always helping her sisters. She is S M A R T!!! I mean seriously smart. Teaching herself to read at 3. Reading chapter books by 5. She taught herself multiplication and division this summer.  Her little brain just loves to learn. She takes it all in like a sponge. The good and the bad. Sometimes i hear myself in her when she gets nasty and sarcastic and i have to remember to watch myself. Jocelyn is so clumsy. She has been to the hospital more times in her little life than i have in my 29 years. The bruises she has on her body!! I swear someone is going to question me some day!  She has an infectious smile. Jocelyn is a wonderful amazing charming beautiful daughter. Always willing to help and make my day easier. I find myself taking advantage because she is so willing to help me.  She has a strong spirit and bounces back with grace. She is so willing  to forgive and to move on. Which is nice because I make so many mistakes!! 
My little JoJo bean is might light, and my heart.  She gave me the best gift anyone could ever give me, she made me a mommy! I love you JOJO! 

No comments: