Tuesday, November 9, 2010

turn turn turn...

I have been thinking a lot about seasons and time. It may be because Miss Charlie is our last little one or because my oldest is now almost 7. Lately I feel like it is flying by. I feel like i am missing everything.
When did I get to be 28? When did my angel baby Callie learn how to write her name?
Fall has always been my favorite season.  I am NOT a fan of summer. I enjoy the relaxing attitude everyone seems to have  but the heat just gets to me. Winter I get depressed. I think its because we never go outside or because it seems to take 5 hours just to get out of the house. All the coats and hats and unmatched mittens! Spring is beautiful, but a lot of the time it rains and I have curly thick hair...enough said.  But Fall....most of the time it is crisp and cool. Every now and then you get a warm day or a day that is too chilly, but it is pretty much always the same. The colors are beautiful!
My husband is from Florida where everything is green. Always green. One year we drove from Long Island to Canada in October.  He looked outside and said "I always thought Crayola made up these colors!" It was breathtaking. The trees all around us were beautiful shades of reds, oranges and yellows.
Most of the time by the end of each season i am ready to move on to the next. By March I have had just about enough of the cold and snow to move on to warmth and by June I am ready for a tan and for the beach. This year has been so different for me. I want to freeze each moment. I want to live in each season. Take all of it in. The warmth of the sun in summer, the crispness of fall, the warm cozy nights in  winter and the flowers budding in the spring. I feel as if I am always so quick to go move on to the next thing that I am missing all of the things in front of me.  Yes, I  Love the new Grace that comes in the morning and the peace that happens when everyone is asleep, but can we freeze this time? Can I just stay in this season? Can Jocelyn stay a beautiful innocent  6 year old (minus the attitude)? It feels as if she fell asleep one day and woke up big! This tiny angel that made me a mother is now spending more of her time with her first grade teacher than at home. Soon her first dance, her first Love and broken heart. Callie and Charlotte will be quick to follow.  The days are getting busier and busier. Soccer games, bottles and play dates seem to consume my days. But today I am Thankful for this moment. This very life that I prayed for as a little girl. A wonderful husband 3 beautiful healthy children. I am thankful for the clearness that God has given me to see the joy that is in my life.   I don't want to leave this moment when all is wonderful.

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