Katie-Girl and her Girls

baby of mine

2012-02-09T13:31:00.000-08:00

I had high hopes for this year, 2012. I mean come on I have 3 children 2 of them are in school full time. The other one takes (minus the past 3 days ugggg) solid 2 hour naps in the afternoon.
I had dreams of picture taking, blogging coffee drinking and a clean house!
Dreams...only dreams.
By the time the wee one is ready for her afternoon nap the house is trashed. She has taken all of the snacks out of the cabinet, taken a bite out of every apple or tomato (which she thinks are apples) in the fridge, made a pathway out of toilet paper and managed to feed her baby some crumb she finds on the floor that is now stuck inside the baby's mouth.
I dont "let" her do these things. She is like a baby ninja. Quick and quiet. I will be putting socks away and when i come out the soy sauce is on the floor.
It really is crazy.

18 months means PIGTAILS!

She is praying. not sure where she got the closing her eyes or the whisper when she prays but its cute as carp.

The oldest was sick, you know the kind of sick that needs a bowl next to you just incase. So, in true little sister fashion she needed a bowl too. For a different purpose that is much more fun!

She will not stand still long enough for the camera to take a picture!

At around 3 months she fell asleep on this wonderful orange scarf of mine and has not let it go since.

I could die with this hat!

With all that crazy going on I really am realizing that this time passes. It is so bitter sweet to me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE 18 months. It is so far my favorite stage of childhood. Next comes 5 and then 8. The years in between seem to be the days when no and go to your room are used a wholllleeeee lot.
At the same time I am so physically tired. I mean if i didnt eat so much i would be 5 pounds by now. The running around making sure things are picked up, the cat like reflexes it takes to make sure that whatever gymnastics this child is doing doesnt finish with a hospital visit and the CONSTANT" mommmeeee mommmeeeee".

My sweet baby is 18 months old today!!! 18 months!!
If i could take this baby and bottle her i would be a millionaire. She is so very loving and spicy all at the same time. My little Charlie is a cartoon character who really does make all of us laugh on a daily basis.
She is such a mash up of my older two.

Charlotte is smart like Jocelyn and funny like Callie. Man does she LOVE her big sisters. And we just LOVVVEEE her!

A Blog

2012-01-15T05:24:00.000-08:00

When I first started blogging it was for myself. I wanted to have a place to put all my pictures and the things that I was thinking about all in one place.

As i started following other bloggers i thought it was weird that all these people would talk about how they had formed relationships with other bloggers. I mean people they have never met or might never meet. WEIRDDDD

I totally know what these weirdos are talking about now.

I don't have relationships with any bloggers that i follow but as people share about themselves you begin to feel like you know them. It becomes like reading someones journal (in a good way).

Some people share a little and some a lot.

Lil blue boo is one of the people I started following. At first it was because she had all these great ideas for kids crafts and I loved looking at her cute clothes that she made for kiddos. As the time has passed she started to share more and more of her life.

She has a Choose Joy series that she writes about. I LOVE LOVE it.

Lately she has had some pretty horrific things happen to her. Started out as a miscarriage then to surgery to a emergency hysterectomy and then to finally finding out she has cancer! AWFUL!

She has been sharing her journey with cancer and really shared the details nobody really tells you about.

They documented her shaving her head and I cried. I cant imagine.

I don't really know why i posted about this lady. Maybe because i find myself praying for her when i think of people who are sick. My heart breaks for her and all she has been through and all she will have to go through.

30 days of sick

2012-01-04T09:20:00.000-08:00

I started this photo challenge and this 30 things to do before i turn 30 things to do before i turn 30 and I have failed miserably.

My kids have been sick since Halloween. Going from one child to the next and then repeating itself. Just when i get the house bleached and the sheets washed it starts again.

I know its part of the season and all but really!!??? Today is a day filled with a cranky baby with double pink eye and a whole butt load of laundry to catch up on from the vaca.

So i have not done the what i wore day or whatever the next is because i have been inside and have worn my "house clothes". You know the ones you wear when nobody is going to see you. God forbid anyone stops by i WILL run for cover and pretend like you are a sales person trying to see me lice.

So the photos i have taken I have taken while 2 of my kiddos were in somewhat pleasant moods I tortured them with flash positions and aperture settings only to not get one shot of them actually still.

These photos are just random cute pictures of my 3 chicks.

She is animated I tell you! A new face every day from this little bug.

Man are we in trouble! She is 8 going on 25! I am lucky that she is not into boys being cute yet like some of her other friends.

My sweet baby butterfly. I LOVE a nice black and white photo. This was before school today. She said she was stuffed like turkey. It was 13 degrees today when they left for school!!

Those are just a few of my little crew. One day I hope to look back on these photos and remember all these tiny moments. I think that is why i take so many pictures of these kids. I really just don't want to forget any of these moments.

Jan 1

2012-01-01T07:37:00.001-08:00

The first photo challenge day is a self portrait. UGGG i do not like to have my photo taken. I am too critical of myself.

I didn't feel like setting up my tripod and using the timer. Lazy i know. One of the resolutions.

But here you go.

30 days

2011-12-29T06:22:00.000-08:00

For Christmas I made out like a bandit. I got all sorts of new camera stuff! A new CAMERA, A new flash, a new filter, a new camera strap. I know Im super lucky! So To inspire myself this is what I am doing.

A birthday in Photos

2011-12-20T08:05:00.000-08:00

My baby girl turned 8!!!!! 8!!!! Can you even believe it? I cant!
We had a weekend of low key celebrations that my little introvert just loved. Filled with trips to the movies with her friends, ice cream, cupcakes, surprise visits, dance parties and family dinners.
Today she is all partied out and home sick from school.

Happy Birthday my sweet sassy smart and funny little 8 year old! Thank you for giving me the best christmas present EVER!

2011

2011-12-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

It has been almost 2 months of sickness in my house. Since the weekend of Halloween at least one person has had some sort of nasty sickness. The baby was on a nebulizer(sp) twice and the middle was coughing for 3 weeks. Im pretty sure we helped keep CVS in business. Man are antibiotics pricey. Tell me again why we are paying a bazillion dollars to health insurance? It doesn't seem to be doing anything.

totally not the point of this rant.
So yesterday the sickness finally hit me like a ton of bricks. Fever achy the whole 9 yards. Instead of folding the 17 loads of laundry (not im not kidding) I spent the afternoon on the couch with tea and soup.

I decided to pay 5 dollars for a movie on demand since the baby was sleeping and i could not for the life of me find the remote to my apple tv to watch netflix.

I ordered the movie The Help. First what an awesome movie. I LOVVVVVEEE LOVVVEEE Emma Stone. The story was amazing. For anyone who has not seen the movie it takes place around the time JKF got shot and Blacks and Whites were segregated. It is in the south I believe Jackson, Mississippi. It follows the life of "colored" women who worked for wealthy white women.

With about 20 minutes left to the movie the wee one decided to wake up from her nap. And in some sort of rare freakness she wanted to just lay on me and watch the movie. I was fully prepared to pause and resume later when all was sleeping.

So as she sat there with her binky and scarf a scene came on when the "white" mother (i am using the terms from the movie) was not acting very nice to the child. I don't want to spoil anything and the details of the scene are not important. The nanny took the child afterwards and loving said to the child "you is kind, you is special and you is important". This little girls mom wouldn't talk to her or hold her or say anything nice about this child. It really broke my heart.
In another scene the little girl said to her nanny "you is my really mommy." That little girl didn't see color she saw a women who loved her and cared for her. Her mother and father instilled hate and racism into her. They taught that them "colored" people had different diseases and they didn't want to catch them. That these women should be treated worse than dogs. It was awful.

It made me think about how grateful I am that people in my parents generation including my father stood up for people and the right to live and have a healthy equal life. They didn't sit back and say "i don't want to offend people."
It wasn't the norm for people to stand up for equal rights. We look back now and say how could anyone treat another human being like that but when my dad and mom were growing up that is what was expected. That is what people knew.

I am so glad that my children don't see a difference in color. They believe that every single person is different. That God made us all different colors not one person has the same color skin or eyes. We are all loved by God and we are all made in the same image. The color of our skin and the language we speak does not make us any less or anymore human we all have the right to live a full life.

I

Baby Boy

2011-11-30T15:57:00.001-08:00

So i posted a few photos earlier of the sweet baby i photographed last weekend. Now that the parents have the photos I can show some more!!

He really was a sweet baby. So was the rest of the family. But that little man definitely stole the show.

Mrs. Draper

2011-11-28T06:36:00.001-08:00

When I was a little girl I dreamed of being a wife and a mother. I wanted a GIANT family and promised myself I would love the noise of children.

I knew I would be the mom who had the clean home and the laundry would be done. I would dress nicely for my husband and make sure that I looked nice. Kinda Mad Men-ish. (Haaaaaaaaa)

But as I got older my dream changed. Yes I still wanted to be a wife and a mother but I also wanted to be a psychologist and a photographer. Can you imagine my college degree (if i had one) Major in Psychology minor is photography. What would I do with that? Take pictures of my patients. That would be awkward.

The Mad Men....fantasy still existed but became less important.

I mean my husband married me for more than my looks and the clothes I wore so why do I have to dress nice for him. If i dress nicely it is for myself so that I can feel better.

Then children came along and instead of looking at my responsibilities as a mother and a wife as a wonderful "job" I started to look at it as a get out of jail free card. I don't need to dress nice I am not leaving the house. My husband loves me just the way I am. He is wonderful and really does Love me no matter what, but when did I stop caring about the way I looked?

On top of that It is very difficult as a Christian to not fall into the "poor is better" mentality. There is also a fine line between vanity and materialism and looking nice and loving fashion.

I was not raised to think poor is better. I was raised that God blesses those who are faithful. Sometimes with wealth and sometimes in other ways.

I was raised in a full time ministry family. We did not have a lot of money growing up. We didn't have extravagant holidays or expensive things but I look at pictures of my family and we always looked nice. We always had clean clothes and had cute outfits on. They were not Polo or Ralph Lauren but they were nice. The majority of them hand me downs.

My husband is in full time ministry and here I am faced with the reality we will never have the money that some people have. I am not complaining I am just stating what has been the "norm" in ministry. I am ok with that. I mean I get jealous of people who have money or people who can just by what they want without thinking of the stupid budget. But I am so blessed wayyyyyyyyy beyond what I deserve and I am so very thankful for the opportunity to live in one of the most expensive county's in the country and on top to be able to stay at home with my children. Its tough and coupons are my favvvv but I LOVE my life.

Anyway...not the point of this.

A few years ago I started following blogs. Mostly craft and fashion blogs. Blogs like this NY mom, and this one, this lady is amazing. I noticed a few things. One they are all Mormon. Two they all dress really well and Three they have amazing homes. Not fancy expensive homes. Just neat well taken care of homes. As I read about baby trouble and watched beautiful house tours I started to see that these women really take pride in what they do. They really are proud to be a mom and a wife. They like to be a Homemaker.

I don't know what happen to our society, but somewhere in the quest for women's rights and hippies, being a homemaker became a bad thing. I mean I don't want to be Mrs.Draper or anything. I love the fact that we as moms/wives are not expected to sit around and cook all day. Wait for our husbands all day and not have any type of life. I like that If i wanted I could go out and get a job and be the career women. I like that God made me much more than just a mother to three little girls and a wife to an amazing husband. He gave me talents and creativity.
But what happen to Mrs. Draper? What happen to taking pride in myself and my home? Dressing nicely for my husband?

Now, I own my share of sweats and often wear my insanely think hair in a bun. My laundry is NEVER caught up and I dream of the mornings when my husband is home to do the morning rush and I can sit and drink a cup of coffee in peace. My house is always a mess. I try I really do!
Somewhere along the way I lost the desire to take pride in my job as a mother and my job as a wife.

I write this all because I am challenging myself. (u too if you want to) I am going to take pride in myself I am going to take care of my home and be the best wife and mother I can be. I am going to put in as much effort into this majorly important job as I would if I was working my way up the career ladder.

We will see how this goes. haaa Lets see how long before I am wearing sweatpants on a daily basis again.

Little Guy

2011-11-23T05:48:00.001-08:00

Ohhh MAN did this little guy just steal my heart. ALMOST made me want to try to have a baby boy. ALMOST not really.

My Pretend Son

2011-11-15T08:59:00.001-08:00

As you all know I have 3 girls. We tried for boys..God had other plans. I am ABSOLUTELY happy that I have 3 girls. I wouldn't know what to do with a boy.

Annnnyyyhoooo. My sister has a little man who is 6 months younger than my middle girl. They are the best of friends. Almost like a brother and sister. When little man was a baby my sister worked full time and I watched him while she worked. It was HARD to say the least having a 4 year old a 1 year old and a 6 month old was CRAAAAZZZYYY.
I got incredibly attached to this little guy. He is just sweet as can be and such a ham.

One day he asked me why i didn't have a son. I told him because God gave me three girls. He then told me I could be his pretend son. (Seriously, i cant with the cuteness)

here is the little guy

Love my Mac

2011-11-13T17:22:00.001-08:00

When you turned 5

2011-10-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

My Sweet Callie Faye,

I can't believe you are 5! A whole hand.

You really do make us laugh.

You have such a sweet spirit. Kind and gentle.

You have so much joy and laughter.

I am so glad that you are my daughter.

I love you to the moon and back.

Love,

Mommy

Pumpkins

2011-10-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

I really LOVE fall. I love the colors, the temperature, the smells. the holidays. I met my husband in the fall. I had two children in the fall. I love the clothes. Sweaters, hoodies and jeans, and BOOTS!
All of the leaves are changing color and falling to the ground. I know to some people it makes them depressed all of the dying leaves and cooler temperature. To me It makes me happy. The thought that all of the mistakes and poor decisions of the year can be put behind me. Its almost like the earth starts over. New flowers and leaves. New babies are born.
Its silly...

One of my favorite things to do is go pumpkin and apple picking. We do it every year. This year we went with one of my favorite families. It really was a great day.

rest

2011-10-21T05:54:00.000-07:00

I have been taking a little break from screen time. I was having a bit of a mood melt down. I couldn't find a moment of peace. I was having trouble letting go and letting God, ya know?? So I have not been on facecrack or the computer very much. Trying to get my heart and my mind in the right place.

Anyhooooo... I had the awesome pleasure of taking pictures of this awesome accessory line.

I posted pictures of the amazing head bands that they make for babies AND adults. Who doesn't need a little flower headband!!??

Here are some of my favorites. JKD Creations. LOVE!

PS...i actually put my name on these photos!! Lets see what happens.......

veint y nueve

2011-10-11T06:56:00.000-07:00

I have been 29 for two months now. I really never cared about age before. It was how I felt or how I acted that mattered.

I mean you have the big birthdays like 5, 10, 13, 16, 18, and 21. But i must say these birthdays were not my favorites.

I had better birthday's on non-monumental years.

When i was younger i can remember having a lot of dreams. A lot of "when i grow up i want to be.."

They all pretty much revolved around my 20's. I wanted to get married and have children. I wanted to stay home and bake cookies and iron clothes (really i did. weird i know) I wanted to be a teacher, a nurse, a forensic biologist, psychologist, a pediatric psychologist. I eventually went to school for early childhood ed. with a minor in psychology.

I never ended up graduating. I got married and had a few kiddos instead. (best decision EVER)

All these things happened in my 20's I have everything i ever planned for and before i even hit 28!! Now here I am 29!! My last year in my 20's!!! Almost 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And i am lost. I have no more plans. What am I going to do!!!!??? (besides raise my kiddos)

So i have decided to do a 30 before 30 list.

I have tried in the past ( a few times). I plan on doing everything on this list. The good and the bad. The mundane and the extraordinary.

1. Read a book every two weeks

2. Watch less TV

3. Buy something new for myself once a month ( i tend to buy for other people)

4. Go to the gym 3 times a week.

5. explore more of Long Island. It is such a wonderful place

6. be a better friend

7. be a better wife.
8. Take a class or two.
9. Travel
10. pay off debt
11. be myself
12. Pray more
13. keep my house clean....er
14. Have Friendsgiving
15. Finish painting all the half painted things in my house
16. Learn how to REALLY play the piano
17. Spend the day alone without any children
18. have a theme party. maybe Asian??
19. Learn how to cook
20. get a massage..i don't like them
21. paint my nails once a week.
22. change my hair in some way
23. Get together with old friends
24. Work out 3 times a week/ get in shape for Spain!!!
25. wear only things that i am comfortable in
26. Find my confidence again
27. Actually print out some of the pictures i have taken
28.Learn how to garden
29. Go to Manhattan on my own!
30. Be a better mother

I know this is a pretty self absorbed post. I am aware! But i think it is good to set goals for yourself. To really have something to look forward to.

Second Grade

2011-10-09T10:31:00.000-07:00

The first year my oldest was in school we ordered the biggest package of photos. Because who doesn't need 100 wallet, 3 8x10, 29 5x7 photos for all the people you have ever known your 4 year old.
After i gawked at how cute my girl was I started thinking of all the photos that i have of her. She is the first grandchild of a gramarazzi. (grandmother with a camera attached to her) I realized that the school photo was awful in comparison.
One day i was reading this blog about school photos. I decided that I was going to do this also.

so this is year one of my oldest.

my Jocelyn

2011-09-30T13:03:00.000-07:00

oh man. What do you say about your first child?! I would like to think that as parents we don't have favorite children, but each child has a special place in your heart.

Jocelyn Lee was born December 17, 2003. One week before Christmas and 10 days before my one year anniversary to my man. She was a wonderful change in plans. She made us a family. I look at my Jocelyn and my heart breaks with love and regret. Not regret for having her, but in all the mistakes that I have made since she came into my life. I mean she is my guinea pig. I would like to say i had a decent mothering instinct when she was born but man was I wrong.

Since the moment Jocelyn was born she has been a curious child. We have a video of her when she was a day old laying on my dad. The door closed and she lifted her head and looked in the direction of the door. She wants to know EVERYTHING!

Her heart is so innocent and pure. A kind soul. The first to include everyone (except her sister. but i am told that is normal) She really is a great big sister. Always helping her sisters. She is S M A R T!!! I mean seriously smart. Teaching herself to read at 3. Reading chapter books by 5. She taught herself multiplication and division this summer. Her little brain just loves to learn. She takes it all in like a sponge. The good and the bad. Sometimes i hear myself in her when she gets nasty and sarcastic and i have to remember to watch myself. Jocelyn is so clumsy. She has been to the hospital more times in her little life than i have in my 29 years. The bruises she has on her body!! I swear someone is going to question me some day! She has an infectious smile. Jocelyn is a wonderful amazing charming beautiful daughter. Always willing to help and make my day easier. I find myself taking advantage because she is so willing to help me. She has a strong spirit and bounces back with grace. She is so willing to forgive and to move on. Which is nice because I make so many mistakes!!

My little JoJo bean is might light, and my heart. She gave me the best gift anyone could ever give me, she made me a mommy! I love you JOJO!

can someone say CUTE

2011-09-27T13:35:00.000-07:00

i have been sick the past 2 days and have had about enough energy to sit on the couch and fold clothes while the wee one walks around making a mess of the clothes.

today i had a moment when i felt a little better. it just so happen that the baby wanted to play too. So i took the opportunity to snap a few of her jumping and laughing on the bed. I sure am a sucker for a black and white and dear LORRRDDDYYYY i love this age.

my challenge

2011-09-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

Some days I just don't want to do anything. I just want to sit and read or watch TV or sleep. Today is one of those days. The man is home from work and the baby is sleeping. It is raining out. Perfect weather to do absolutely nothing.
But, I am determined to become disciplined. This challenge about taking a photo might be silly but for me it is a start.

SOOO today the pictures are a bit boring and not that great but she is really really cute!!

My Girls

2011-09-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

For my 29th (AHHHHHHHHH) birthday my husband signed me up for this online course from a blog i follow called willette designs. It is a three week photography class. It is called Family Joy.

She basically is showing us ideas and ways to make family portraits better. Which is great for my new adventure.

So, I have been taking A TON of family photos. Everything from playing to Alan cleaning Callie's ears this morning. I know I know nobody wants to see that but really she was making the BEST faces.

This morning my ham and cheese Miss Callie Faye played model before school. She is so funny. I started to think of another blog that i follow about the Szarmacks. They are friends of my husbands and they are on the journey to adopt a little boy from Africa. Anyhoo...She is describing each one of her children.

It got me thinking of my kiddos. They are so great!!! Even though they drive me BONKERS some times.

Since my middle child will be 5 next month (and I got some cute photos of her) I will start with her.

My little Pumpkin Callie Faye is the laughter in this house. She is almost all of the time the reason why we are laughing.

Callie is constantly putting on a show, dancing or jumping around the house.

She is also a poster child for a middle child. Always looking for ways for someone to pay attention to her. whether it be positive or negative.

Callie is a lover. She just loves people with all of her heart. She is the first to come over when someone is crying or upset. Her heart is just so soft. She gets her feelings hurt very easily and very rarely do we have to tell her something more than once. Ever since she was a baby if we told her no that was it. Never again. I never had to buy locks for cabinets or gates for stairs. She also is very athletic but has to be in "tap-tap shoes" and a "church dress". So a lot of the time she is running around outside trying to keep up with her big sister in a tu-tu. And man does she LOVEEEEE her big sister. She so desprately wants to be like her. To the point of annoying her sister.

Callie is my little buddy. A true momma's girl. She will openly admit that she wants to be by my side all the time. Although she LOVES kindergarden.

She is a tiny girl version of her daddy both in looks and spirit. The first to pray for someone when they are sick. She will pray until she knows that they are better. She loves babies both real and pretend.

Callie has been such a reminder in my life to laugh and let loose. She is my sweet stuff in the middle, my little butterfly and my ham and cheese sandwich.

3

2011-09-21T17:10:00.000-07:00

Three things I wish someone would have informed me of when i decided to get married and have kiddos..

1. You sometimes wont like your children. I mean yes you always love them, but not like them. I mean who could possibly LIKE a child who is screaming and whining?? Or like a child who decides you are the "most boringist" while you are trying to cook dinner and wont play with them.

2. The heart that once resided in your body now lives in other people(s). Anyone who is a mother TOTALLY knows what I am talking about. The fact that when your child gets hurt emotionally or physically YOU actually hurt. Your heart breaks when they get hurt by another person.

3. You can't quit kids!! I mean i have quit jobs, diets, relationships. I could even in theory not reality quit my marriage. (I WOULD NEVER!!) But children you will always be a parent. You can be an awful one, but still a parent. Your DNA is in another human. No matter what you do you are connected to that person.

I dont think any of these things would have changed my mind about having babies, but i wish i was a little more prepared.

JKD designs

2011-09-19T05:29:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine has a started a business called JKD Designs. (they have a fb page too. Just Keep Dreaming Designs)The stuff is so cute. They sell all sorts of fun and original accessories. I used my own little munchkins as models and took these yesterday after church while we were waiting for daddy to come home.

13 months

2011-09-18T13:26:00.000-07:00

It looks like this little self inflicted challenge I gave myself is working. I have taken more photos, rearranged more furniture and finished more crafts than i have in probably 4 months.

My little one seems to be getting big WAY to FAST!
She makes the silliest faces

already falling behind

2011-09-17T03:53:00.000-07:00

Seriously???!!! This face! I cant take it. She really has so many faces. A new expression for every situation.

Yesterday we went to Big Girls back to school BBQ. It was so cute. Added bonus..free dinner and snacks! Isn't that how everyone wants to eat cotton candy?

Awful picture!!!!!! But This is the wee one holding on BY HERSELF!! The big girl took this. I really do enjoy being behind the camera much much better than in front of it!!

That s 3 days covered. Lets see if this inspires me at all

lacking

2011-09-14T17:48:00.000-07:00

I've been in a rut.
a ugly, lazy, my children are making me crazy rut.
so i need to get myself out of it.

i am challenging myself.
Take a meaningful photo every day.
I am not great at taking photos but i can capture a moment or two.
So in the hopes to one better my skill and two inspire some sort of creativity
I am going to take this on.

Lets see how it goes.

what???

2011-09-09T05:14:00.000-07:00

Ssecond Grade!! Can't you believe it? I can't I'm not really liking the fact that she is getting so big. Its bitter sweet. I enjoy the freedom and seeing her grow but sometimes i miss those sweet times when it was just me and my jojo bean! When everything was so new. I love my children equally and different. I Love Jocelyn's quirkiness and how smart she is. I love Callie's humor and the laughter she brings to my house. The buggy is just so sweet. She has made me want to savor every moment, because the moments got by so fast!

Ohhh sisters

she says to me "people can't handle me. I'm just so cute"

Me and my big Kindergartner!! What has happen to the time. I don't think I am ready for this!!

Liberty and Church

2011-09-04T09:10:00.000-07:00

In 2001 I was 19 years old and worked at Outback Steakhouse. It was a good time in my life. I was young had friends and was making great money. We lived in a beautiful house on the beach. If you sat on the roof of my house you could see the sky line of NYC.

I had so many plans for my life. I wasn't sure what I was going to do but the future was so bright! I had the world at my finger tips. I was from NY where anything is possible. We were the capitol of the world.

In my young mind I was invincible, untouchable.

That morning changed my mind forever. I woke up to my mother screaming. I sat in bed for a minute because you know it could of been a spider she was screaming about. Then the phone started ringing. All of them. My two house phones, my cell phone, my mothers, my fathers, the people staying at our house.

I got out of bed and went out into the living room. My mom was sobbing in front of the television. It was oddly silent.

I looked at our tiny TV to see a building burning with a giant hole in it.

"what is that?? that is not the twin towers is it??" I remember saying that so clearly. I remember the feeling of disbelief. My dad just looked at me and nodded his head.

Immediately my mind went to all of my friends and family. I listed off the names of people i knew working in the city. I started to call them and one by one they had weird reasons why they weren't in the city that day. Some called in sick, others were late or were on their way and had no idea what had happen.

I was so blessed and thankful to not have anyone I knew personally who suffered on that tragic day.

As I drive to a friends house that day it felt like it was the end of the world. We watched the news waiting for something else to happen. Another building to be attacked or a bridge to be blown up.

When I went to sleep that night I had such fear of tomorrow. What was going to happen next? Will we go to war? Will my brother be drafted? Will NY be OK?? Time was now limited. Life was now changed forever. I had an overwhelming reality check that i was not invincible, what future did I have now?

The next day was still surreal. All the news coverage of people crying and posting pictures of missing family members. I went to work with a sad and fearful heart. I think everyone did.
While at work I found out that Outback would be cooking and serving meals to those people who were helping. I had to go. I couldn't not go.

I got picked to go in on that Friday am. We went at an ungodly hour. 2am. The trip in was quiet. Everyone was waiting to see in person what we had seen on TV. I don't remember much of that night. I remember that it was quiet. Nobody really wanted to talk to each other. We were doing something good but it was an awful horrific reason why. We were feeding men and women who had been working since Tuesday to find people. Find people??? How could anyone find people??
We had to wear masks because the sky was still so thick from smoke. We had armored guards all around us. NYC had gone from a place packed with people. Streets filled will yellow cabs and honking horns to a place where army tanks roamed the streets. Military on every corner . A spooky silence filled the streets. It was like something you see in movies.

The guards took us down to the site and i was instantly overcome with emotion. I couldn't do anything to stop myself from crying. All those lives lost. The families forever changed. The wives who have to explain to their children that daddy isn't coming home. The mothers who had to bury children.
The wreckage was huge. The firemen looked like ants on a hill. The heat was so intense that i felt like it was hard to breathe. I have an image that is engraved into my mind of a fireman leaning against a generator sleeping. He had to have been working since Tuesday morning. What a sacrifice.
They came up to us as we gave out food. "We have hamburgers or cheeseburgers" That was all I could say as these men and women came up to us. Each one of them thanking us for food. I cried quietly as we handed food out to these brave and selfless people.

I came home Friday late morning covered in ashes. My face was black and my eyes burned from the heat. The smell was etched in my memory. I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say. I was getting ready to put my clothes in the washer and my dad stopped me. He said you can't just wash that off.
Peoples lives are on your clothes. I had never thought of that before. It was a harsh and almost discussing truth.

The next few weeks we saw such unity in our country. Democrats, republicans, christian, Jewish it didn't matter. We came together. We united in the thought that these people who did this had to suffer.
These people changed our country.

This year it has been ten years since that awful day. TEN!! I look at my little girls and I am saddened by the world that they have to live in. They don't know the NY before 9/11. They are learning about it in history books. My oldest came home and said "did you know that people flew planes into buildings in NYC!?" I was struck with the reality that we no longer have that secure feeling. NY can be touched. It can be taken down.

This year I went into the city for my birthday and for the first time since 2001 I went down to ground zero. I could never do it before. I was afraid of feeling those feelings again. That sadness and fear.
I walked down through the masses to a place that was so unfamiliar to me. In replace of the towers was a giant glass building. Cranes and trucks everywhere. Workers outside the gates smoking taking a break from the heat. What did these men think? Did they think it was odd to be building at this graveyard? Do they think of this place as holy. People died here. People disappeared forever here. So many people come here to visit their loved ones. Loved ones who never got a proper burial.

It was a different view. Same place different feeling. I think that sadness will always run through me when i think of that site. No new building or monument will replace the towers or make the people forget the pain. But as i saw the building of this new tower i kept thinking how God will restore. He will heal the hearts and he will make them new. It reminds me to be thankful for the gift of live. For the men and women who gave their lives that day.
I will never forget

Some pretty cute kiddos.

2011-09-02T06:09:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was my birthday. I entered into the last year of my 20's. I cannot believe that I am already here. The time has gone by so fast. People say 30's are awesome. I always thought that at 30 I would be old. Im not OLD!
Sadly my birthday was taken over by this little weather issue. Her name was irene. She brought in fear and anxiety to everyone on this little island i live on. Thankfully my tiny house and most of my friends and families made it through with not a stitch of damage.
One of the places that got hit pretty bad was upstate NY! Of all places for a hurricane to hit and cause so much damage. Awful!!!
BUT before the lady came into town my family and I went to visit some friends. We had a great time. Nice walks over the hudson, nice chats out on the porch, and s'mores!!

Our friends happen to have some pretty cute kids too! So I thought i would help them out and get some pictures NOT on a cell phone.

my girl going for a nice walk. she was wearing her "press" hat. When she doesn't want to be a teacher a doctor or a mommy she wants to be a reporter.

These kids are the stereotypical girl and boy! They are some of my favorite kids.

The bug got a little trampoline action. She only liked it when daddy was holding her.

It was a tad windy, but still beautiful!

i should probably get some first birthday photos. Next time...

edumication.

2011-08-26T05:11:00.000-07:00

My mother and a friend are taking an online photography class. A class that Dave Ramsey said a BIG FAT NO to. But i am lucky to have such a great mom who is giving me a little inside scoop on the class. This week we headed up to what my girls call the country. They sure are city girls if they think New Paltz, NY is the country. What I found out is that I am wayyyy out of practice with this whole learning thing. It has been a long time since I have had to do anything to enhance my intelligence. School wise that is. I think I should stop reading so much chick lit and start reading biographies or text books.

I kid ....sort of.

This is what my uneducated self photographed.

I am not a professional and won't ever be but I really enjoy capturing what I see with my camera. Getting those moments of joy in my life and other peoples lives that you want to remember. The photographs that you will look back on and say "ohhh remember when.."

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

2011-08-03T05:45:00.000-07:00

To say that I loathe the heat is an understatement. I really do! I get nauseous and get a head ache. So the fact that my family lives in Florida and that our vacation is usually in August is really not ideal weather conditions for me. BUT....these moments and people make it worth all that grossness.

A + G

2011-07-10T13:24:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is about engaged couples that is so fun. Maybe it is the newness and the excitement. Other than taking pictures of my babies this might be my favorite photo's to take. They always have such joy and love. The way they look at each other and the hope and dreams that are just starting. .

I have known Ariel for a very long time and I am so excited that he met Gina and that they let me capture this amazing time for them.

black and white

2011-07-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to photograph my oldest friend and her wonderful family. ! I am so excited that we get to raise our girls together. These are just a few of my favorites.

The Real World: Long Island

2011-06-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl I had images of what I would do when I got older. I always wanted to be a mother and a wife. I wanted a TON of kids and I wanted to stay home with them. As I got older the dream stayed the same. Kids, Husband, house.

The Man came along and then the kids. I am still waiting on the house but that dream is one that can wait.

Life is perfect.At least all the magazines say that it should be. On all the T.V shows it shows pretty houses and clean floors. Pictures in frames beautifully hung on the wall. Mom's with beautiful hair and perfectly manicured nails. Children who listen and fall asleep like angels.

Nobody ever shows what a real house looks like. I mean they show the crazies. But never really show what a normal persons house looks like. They never tell you when you give birth to a beautiful baby girl that she will be 7 one day and have such an attitude sometimes that you don't want to be around her. Or that your 4 year old will hurt your feelings so badly that it will make you cry. SO I figured I would show what my House looked like around 4:30 this afternoon.

This is real life. Some one should put this in a magazine

My Ladybug

2011-06-26T11:48:00.001-07:00

This is seriously my favorite moment so far of this summer. The absolute joy on her face. My sweet baby is getting so big

Its been a while......

2011-06-16T17:41:00.000-07:00

I had the amazing opportunity to photograph 3 beautiful ladies and a cute as can be little girl. They wanted to take pictures for fathers day. I have so many favorites but here are a .....few.

next month an engagement session

jumping in

2011-03-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

Good thing my floor was clean

2011-03-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

Almighty God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, grant, we pray, that we might be grounded & settled in your truth by the coming of the Holy Spirit into our hearts. What we do not know, reveal to us; what is lacking within us, make complete; that which we do know, confirm in us; and keep us blameless in your service, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

joy of luck 4

2011-03-20T17:29:00.000-07:00

Joy of Luck

day 4. This day is my favorite so far. 7 of my favorite material things. I have 5 so far. The last two are outside and it is dark out. So tomorrow will have the last two.

i couldn't take a picture of my actual camera, so the lenses will have to do. I LOVE my camera. I am so grateful that my mother wanted to "upgrade" and gave me my Nikon D100.

these are finger paintings that my 2 oldest girls did about 3 years ago. Callie was about 2 and Jocelyn was around 5. ( i wish i would have put a date on them)

Coffee Pot.

My engagement ring and my wedding band. The hubers did a great job picking out my ring. At the time the antique setting was not that popular. So to me it was very unique. The diamond was also bought by my father from a great man the day the hubs met the family. He said "I have two girls. One day they will get married and need a good diamond"

I really do love all things Starbucks. Coffee cups, snacks, coffee. I even loved working at one.

joy of Luck 01

2011-03-19T11:48:00.000-07:00

The first task was to take a picture of something you take for granted. An inanimate object/thing/concept. I chose my bible. I don't know how people survive without one, but they do. People all over the world don't have a bible. Either by choice, because the government wont allow it or because they cannot afford one.

The Ferber Method

2011-03-01T06:36:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here listening to my baby scream herself to sleep wondering if it is really "good for her". She rarely cry's, so when she does it breaks me and I usually don't let it last long.
Being a mother is hard!!!! (understatement) I am realizing everyday just how selfish I really am. How I tend to put my desires in front of my children's. How my desire for peace sometimes makes things crazier!
The days when I accept the craziness and the messiness are the days when I have the most patience and joy.
She is slowly falling asleep. Something she has been fighting for an hour (not in her bed). Her screams get further and further apart. Her cry turns into a whimper.
And as i write this I realize how much I am like my six month old baby. The fight I put up to walk the walk God has called me to. My desire to do something of my own.
It started out as a scream when Callie was born. A desperation for something else, something different. My cry's were so loud and strong.
Slowly it turned into a whimper. A scream every now and then. God giving me a gentle hug along the way. Letting me feel his presence and hear his calming voice. "its ok. shhh....shh. Im here"
The words I use when i pick my baby up to hug her and calm her down.
I hear her breathing now more than her screams. The sleepiness taking over and slowly she falls asleep. When she wakes up she will once again be that happy little baby. With no memory of the "torture" I put her through. Eventually she will learn the lesson. Fall asleep peacefully and quietly on your own. She will realize its a good thing.
So as my screams turn into quiet whimpers (with a scream every now and then) to God. I look forward to the day when my lesson will be learned. When his peace will over take me. I wait for the day when i can look back and see the blessings that came from it.

21

2011-02-23T13:58:00.000-08:00

~joy of Love~
day 21

Hands. I love this idea. My favorite is little baby hands a feet. So, I had fun with this one!

my cat

the bean

and buggy

20

2011-02-23T11:07:00.000-08:00

~Joy of Love~ day 20.

I am having a hard time keeping up!! It could be because I have 3 children home this week.
Today is When he is Home. When the Mr. is home at night its usually pretty boring. Dinner, bath, and bed times for kiddos.

The first is just a random picture of the Mr. eating with the fam. Im not sure when it was. The second was on my middle childs 4th birthday dinner. This is usually what he does when i am taking a photo of him!

Failing Already

2011-02-21T05:15:00.000-08:00

I haven't really had time to post so I am going to do 2 days in one.

~JOY OF LOVE ~
day 18 Going Out

This one is so sad. The Mr. and I have not been out on a date in so long!! It seems that every time we go out we have a child with us...isn't that so sad!?

~JOY OF LOVE~
day 19 When He is Gone

Since the Mr. is gone a few nights a week , I have many many pictures of my house and family when he is not home.
We usually end up having a very unhealthy dinner. Ice cream, Popcorn, and maybe a piece of fruit to make me feel like a good mother.

I am not a fan of him not being home, but I do enjoy a little time alone. So after the children are put to bed and the house is "clean" I usually put on the very unattractive PJ's and watch my soap. Thank you Lord for DVR.

Joy Of Love

2011-02-17T12:27:00.000-08:00

I am a little late...But i am starting this challenge-ish posting spree. Lets see how it goes...

should blog more

2010-11-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

I am so very thankful this year.
I have not had the words or the time to sit down and write anything but I am Thankful!!!!
Today was a great day. I spent time outside without a coat!! Something very rare this time of year.
I spent the day with two very dear friends and their children.

It is such a blessing to find people who are in the same spot as you and to truly call them friends.

I got a little girl talk in....and so did my girl!!

my joe-alan

2010-11-12T17:41:00.000-08:00

This is the month I met my man. 9 years ago!!! WHAT????
He has been my strength, my Love, my sanity and my clarity.
He is the strong, caring, loving, passionate, loyal, Godly, goofy, corny, sweet, man I never knew I needed. He's not too bad looking either.
Who knew a little southern boy and a smart mouth bratty girl could fall in Love and live happily ever after?

yup he's awesome. I thank God for him every day!

today

2010-11-11T04:09:00.001-08:00

maybe it will help

2010-11-10T05:09:00.001-08:00

I am hoping this helps me with my desire for more clothes and shoes

turn turn turn...

2010-11-09T11:59:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about seasons and time. It may be because Miss Charlie is our last little one or because my oldest is now almost 7. Lately I feel like it is flying by. I feel like i am missing everything.
When did I get to be 28? When did my angel baby Callie learn how to write her name?
Fall has always been my favorite season. I am NOT a fan of summer. I enjoy the relaxing attitude everyone seems to have but the heat just gets to me. Winter I get depressed. I think its because we never go outside or because it seems to take 5 hours just to get out of the house. All the coats and hats and unmatched mittens! Spring is beautiful, but a lot of the time it rains and I have curly thick hair...enough said. But Fall....most of the time it is crisp and cool. Every now and then you get a warm day or a day that is too chilly, but it is pretty much always the same. The colors are beautiful!
My husband is from Florida where everything is green. Always green. One year we drove from Long Island to Canada in October. He looked outside and said "I always thought Crayola made up these colors!" It was breathtaking. The trees all around us were beautiful shades of reds, oranges and yellows.
Most of the time by the end of each season i am ready to move on to the next. By March I have had just about enough of the cold and snow to move on to warmth and by June I am ready for a tan and for the beach. This year has been so different for me. I want to freeze each moment. I want to live in each season. Take all of it in. The warmth of the sun in summer, the crispness of fall, the warm cozy nights in winter and the flowers budding in the spring. I feel as if I am always so quick to go move on to the next thing that I am missing all of the things in front of me. Yes, I Love the new Grace that comes in the morning and the peace that happens when everyone is asleep, but can we freeze this time? Can I just stay in this season? Can Jocelyn stay a beautiful innocent 6 year old (minus the attitude)? It feels as if she fell asleep one day and woke up big! This tiny angel that made me a mother is now spending more of her time with her first grade teacher than at home. Soon her first dance, her first Love and broken heart. Callie and Charlotte will be quick to follow. The days are getting busier and busier. Soccer games, bottles and play dates seem to consume my days. But today I am Thankful for this moment. This very life that I prayed for as a little girl. A wonderful husband 3 beautiful healthy children. I am thankful for the clearness that God has given me to see the joy that is in my life. I don't want to leave this moment when all is wonderful.

2010-11-08T04:59:00.000-08:00

Sweatpants. Emily Camuset invented the sweatpant in France in the 1920's originally they were just gray. I am truly thankful for her!

day 5

2010-11-07T07:06:00.000-08:00

Today i step into my shallow side. I am so very thankful for the keratin (sp) hair straighting. Today I will have awesome hair! I can blow dry my mane and i wont have to take 2 hour out of my day for it to look nice!! Watch out Kim Kardashian.

oops...

2010-11-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

I had a busy day yesterday and thought a lot about the things I am thankful for.
So, for number 3 I am thankful for good friends. The kind that see you for you. That say the truth and speak it. That encourage and uplift you. The kind that cry for you when you hurt. The friends that laugh with you AND at you! To those friends THANK YOU!!

Today for day 4 I am thankful for my sister. Its been a rough road.

Day 2

2010-11-04T07:31:00.000-07:00

In my attempt to be thankful....Today I am Thankful for baby giggles!! My tiny (HUGE 13lb) 3 month old has started giggling. Like full on high pitched girl giggle!!!!! Not the best photo's , I know!!

Thanks

2010-11-03T18:55:00.000-07:00

For the month of November I am going to post one thing a day I am thankful for.

Today ....Fall. I am grateful for the crisp, cool, sunny weather! I love it so much! Isn't this a cool photo!!??

this is fun!

2010-10-18T07:57:00.001-07:00

i will be following here for a little while!

failure

2010-10-04T13:57:00.000-07:00

When i fail to be the person i am called to be i get sick to my stomach. I am the type of person who wants to do well and i never do. I have wonderful beautiful smart children. My oldest is incredibly smart and it has nothing to do with me. She was born that way. I did nothing to push her along. Ok..well maybe i read her a few books but that was all. My middle child is funny..to a fault. She makes us laugh even when she is at her worst. My baby is cute as can be and probably the best baby in the world. Im not joking. Sleeping seven hours at night, eating well and smiling all the time. That puts her in the best baby category. And again it has NOTHING to do with what i have done.

But yet the things that i have done (example: scream like a maniac) that they have so wonderfully copied are a complete reflection on me. I hear my children talk to each other the way i speak to people. With attitude and sarcasm. Side note...Sarcasm means tearing at ones flesh. I don't want that for my children. I want them to be loving, gentle, caring people. People who have respect for other people. Women who care and have mercy.

So again today i fall down on my knees and ask forgiveness and i am lifted only by the grace that has been given to me. I am forgiven. I will forgive. I am loved so i will love

2 months

2010-09-30T12:09:00.001-07:00

Im going to take photos for a living one day

2010-09-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

2010-09-02T04:56:00.000-07:00

The black dot will be fixed soon!! As soon as I can take a trip to the camera store that is an hour away!!

BABY DAY

2010-08-09T04:13:00.000-07:00

Today I am going to go deliver my THIRD GIRL!!!

my baby is a thief

2010-06-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

She has stolen my brain, my creativity, my ability to retain any information. Not to mention my body, my desire for any food, and my good night sleep.

The worst part about it all....I know it does not come back any time soon!!!

Its a good thing that she will be cute and I already love her..because i could seriously hold a grudge!

The Worst Mom EVERRRR

2010-05-12T18:06:00.001-07:00

Today I heard the words that every mother probably hears at least once ...."You are the WORST MOM EVERRRR" Yes i heard that from my six year old. Can I tell you the pain that went right through me at that moment was nothing i have ever felt. Every fear every insecurity about being a mother was being fed by a upset, and over dramatic six year old. Why did she scream this at me? You would think it was because I abuse her or that I at least took away her favorite toy. Nope, it was because I sent her to bed 5 minutes early.

Granted she didn't know it was only 5 minutes early. It would have been lunch time they way she screamed and carried on. I set her to bed because she had a melt down about using the bathroom upstairs while her little sister was using the downstairs bathroom. What a horrible thing I made her do!!

So, anyway....a freshly baked coconut cupcake and a few cookies later I started to feel better. Then the guilt of what I ate sat in and i did my stupid stupid prenatal workout and felt a little better. But still the words kept ringing in my ear..".just quit she already thinks you are awful. You have already ruined her. Stop trying to be a good mom. You aren't cut out for this"

At that moment I decided i was going to check my email one last time and then go to bed and read a book. The day is over. I cant fix today I cant only work on tomorrow.

I then came across this video that was on a blog i follow. This women may not share the same exact beliefs I do, but her story made my stupid story look like nothing. She made me think that I can do better than what I am doing. Tomorrow is a NEW day and a NEW start.

Her words are words of inspiration, joy, pain, insecurity, and just normal everyday mother stuff!

PS...i will never never fly again!

sweet baby girls

2010-04-29T06:42:00.001-07:00

I can just see it now.....a bright pink room with blue , and white accent stuff!! I am so excited to see this little baby girl.

I am starting to feel the pressure of getting things done. But first I will focus on our 18 hour car ride to Florida in 22 days!!!!

next post....28 things to do before i am 28!

oh baby girls

2010-03-30T12:34:00.000-07:00

I love Girls!! Which is a very good thing since I am pregnant with my 3rd girl.

Charlotte Rose (which is the name i have chosen...but my husband has yet to give the ok on) will be here around August 16th!!! I am so excited to break out all of the sweet little baby dresses! First I need to buy a dresser via craigslist or garage sale.

But for now i will work on what bedding and paint colors i will use for my girls bedroom.

Since this will be my last (more than likely) my husband and i have decided to go all girl. With the other two girlies i always had in the back of my mind we would one day have a baby boy. Not so likely now!

can you even handle how cute this bedding is? This will be the look of the girls new bedroom!

Simplicity....Im coming!!!

2010-03-13T11:21:00.000-08:00

FLING 100 ITEMS BEFORE THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING, MARCH 21ST

Definition of "FLING":

ebay, re-gift, donate, craigslist, give away, freecycle, recycle, trash...just about anything you can think of, but on March 21st, 2010 100 items must be GONE.

This Is Why We Are Having Another

2010-03-07T14:54:00.000-08:00

My New Favorite

2010-02-09T13:04:00.000-08:00

Since the schools in all of NYC and Nassau County have been closed for tomorrow (yes before the snow has even started) I am looking for fun things to do with my kiddo's and for myself while i am stuck at home.

While being nosy one day and looking at all the sites that people that i follow love, I came across this great site.

She has some awesome ideas for things that need a new purpose.

I will be attempting to make the pottery barn pillow tomorrow!

my weekend projects

2010-01-15T11:55:00.000-08:00

step one...convince my husband that we NEED to do this in the basement THIS weekend!

Step two...i FINALLY FINALLY found the Howards Restore a finish that my sister in law at TheOtherTiffany told me about. So, i will be fixing an awesome dresser that my dads great grandfather made! I might find a few other things around the house that need to be refinished.

Task number 3 (mainly the husbands task) finish painting the living room.

so check back on monday and maybe we will have pictures

kids room re-do

2010-01-13T10:59:00.000-08:00

SO, i have two little girls. Jocelyn is 6 and Callie is 3. They are sooo very different. Jocelyn is a child who loves arts and craft and enjoys books and learning. She could walk around the house with the same clothes on for 3 days and not even care. As long as she is cozy. Callie is a girl to the core. She wont wear black or brown unless paired with pink. She wants to change her outfit 3 times a day and wont take no for an answer. She loves dolls and pretend .

Even with that they both LOVE pink. I have given in up until this point. I cant handle anymore PINK!

SO this is my idea..

this grey will be the color of the wall. I might go a little lighter. This is the palate i am thinking....still pink and girlie ..........and since baby number 3 will be here in August, if this little one is a boy we can go with the lime and blue for him!!!

my version

2010-01-08T11:06:00.000-08:00

This is my idea of what my bedroom WILL look like! The comforter is from Target.

I have bedroom furniture similar to that. Its a VERY VERY nice hand me down from my parents. and the gray color is the wall. I have blue everywhere else in my house so i wanted to stay in the same family. The curtains are a hard one for me . I have brown velvet black out curtains. So i might stay with those or to create a more open and airy look i might get bamboo shades and then get a white curtain. The husband thinks that the brown ones are fine (mainly because he doesn't think i should spend the money)

I found my look

2010-01-06T09:57:00.001-08:00

I think i have found my dream design for my little cape of a house. Or at least the look of it! i would change some furniture. i am a little more modern with my taste of furniture but i love it!

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BTW

2009-12-18T09:43:00.001-08:00

The child that made me a mom turned SIX yesterday!!!

one day.....

2009-12-18T09:07:00.000-08:00

In July my family moved from a Spanish style house to a tiny cape. The old apartment had talllll ceilings and tiny windows. It had a big (bigger than what i have now) living room and a GREAT fireplace. It also had mold behind the walls, broken tile in the kitchen, and you had to walk through my bedroom to get to the living room. Not to mention the worst color green playroom that was the first room you entered when you walked in my house.

The new place is has nice big windows beautiful hard wood floors a BASEMENT with a laundry room!!! It has no mold or broken tile. The walls are tiny but freshly painted in the color of my choice. It still has tons of work that needs to be done. Pictures need to be hung in the proper places and i need to find the right furniture for my living room. The overstuffed couches just don't work in a tiny living room.

I plan to raise my children in this wonderful little house. Unless of course we buy a house one day.

But until then I am working on making my house look like this

these colors are my favorite for a bedroom.
t

with a little bit of this in the kids playroom/guestroom

these are the colors in my living room!

wed

2009-12-09T04:21:00.000-08:00

So, today it is raining when everywhere else in the united states of America it is snowing (or its beautiful) Its not raining like a nice quiet rain. It is raining crazy! Heavy and annoying.

If it was snow............I love snow!

To top off the snow both of my girls are sick. One has an ear ache and the other has the stomach flu. At least its the older one with the stomach bug. She can make it to the proper place in time!

Today i am going to finish wrapping presents and bake something wonderful!!! i am also going to learn how to use the wonderful sewing machine my Aunt gave me over a year ago!!!

I cant wait to make pillows and slip covers and dresses for my children!!

Seriously they are cute!

Emotions

2009-11-27T06:51:00.000-08:00

I know God created men and women different for a reason but seriously couldn't he have given the women a break???
I mean we have the wonderful friend that comes to visit once a month! That in itself should be enough right??? But then on top of that we have child birth! Which even if you use the wonderful drugs it still isn't fun. Not to mention pregnancy itself. I'm not a fan of it.
We have body issues. Constantly thinking about what we can work on. The make up. The hair. The shoes and clothes obsession. The need to always look nice for our men.
But to top all of that we are emotional!!!
Seriously....God you couldn't have given us a break????

Baby envy

2009-11-04T14:53:00.000-08:00

It might be something in the air, but i have serious baby envy.
I don't think i have ever had baby fever. When i got pregnant with Jocelyn it was a surprise. With Callie i got pregnant so fast that i didn't really have time to desire another baby.

Last year after my miscarriage I didn't have the desire to start again. I didn't want to be pregnant again or to have another baby. Now that its been almost a year I'm feelin the baby thing again.
I am craving that romance of a new baby. That baby smell and the tiny socks and bottles everywhere.

with all that i cannot believe that my girls are so BIG!!! Callie is 3 and Jocelyn is almost 6! when did they get bigger? when did the change from tinny little things to big girls? Do i really not have any diapers to be changed in my house??????

Me vs Table

2009-10-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

So this is my first "craft" post in a while. I'm not finished yet with the table but here is the first step.

This table was bought for my husband and I by my parents the first year of our marriage. It was a dark brown color when we got it and it fit with our style when we first got married. Which was poor style.
I then painted it red thinking i would use it in he girls play room but never did. So i am trying again.
This pot was my inspiration . Here is step one. Not so bad i must say =)

you can call me katie cakes

2009-10-30T07:35:00.001-07:00

I have been on a baking kick the past few weeks. I'm not sure why. It might be because we are trying to save money, so I am trying to come up with some snacks that the kiddos Love and are cheap!
It also has to do with my kiddo's.

I can only play little people and pretend for so long! I was never a doll person and having a 3 year old who LOVES them is hard because I don't know what to do with them. I can feed them and pretend to put them to sleep but seriously how long can you do that for?? Im not even a baby person. I love them and think they are cute to hold and snuggle but it is definitly not my favorite age! So in my attempt to find new ways to "play" with my children I have taking up baking. And I'm not talking about box cakes and cookies. I'm talking about from scratch. I know all you super moms have been doing this for a while but its new for me. Its calming and fun(once you get past the fat that you are going to have flour and sugar in every area of your kitchen) I've made a few duds but these seem to be a hit!

Cinnamon bread and these little jam cookies yummmmmmmm.

Feel free to send any yummy treat recipe's you have my way!!!
I

Ohh my pumpkins

2009-10-19T05:10:00.001-07:00

seriously I LOVE fall!!!! I don't know what it is about it. Maybe the colors or the coolness of the air. I definitely love the traditions.
I'm a fan of playing in the leaves. It is so crunchy and fun!

Pumpkin picking and Apple picking are my favorite traditions.

What a great weekend.

my weekend started on thursday!

2009-09-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

My favorite thing this weekend is pretty much in all these pictures. Thats right people we went to see U2!!! We had so much fun!
When i grow up Im going to marry Bono!

It was a little blurry but that was our view!

Its monday AGAIN?

2009-09-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a single mom weekend. My husband had a mens retreat with our church and was gone from wed till late sat night. So this weekend was full of silly shopping trips to wal mart and the mall. On sunday when he came home I got to escape with a friend!

We went for a walk on the boardwalk and ate at my new favorite place. The Allegria Hotel and Spa
Its a new hotel on the boardwalk in Long Beach. OHHHHH how I miss my old home!Seriously how can you not love a place that has a view like this! Not to mention its crazy modern decor and the brunch was really good. The cost was a little high but I cant wait to go on a date night with the hubby here!

all things orange

2009-09-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

I have always had a little bit of an obsession with orange but lately the fall colors have made me love it even more....

Im so happy that now that i live closer to the beach again i can actually use my starfish candle holders!!

My Rachel Ray pots are awesome!! They probably get the most use out of all my orange things

Yummmmmmm

These are awesome Orla Kiely bowls that my mom said "they just arent my style" Dont be jealous Tiffany

I got these pretty little candle holders for my wedding but they were black and boring....amazing what a little spray paint can do

and my Callie girl all in Orange

2009-09-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

My dear sweet angel,

Please stop growing. I am not ready for you to get big yet.

love,
mommy

new

2009-09-14T18:25:00.000-07:00

I am loving this new (for me) blog i found! I am loving her style
a room somewhere: Shade Clothing GIVEAWAY!

Memory Monday

2009-09-14T15:29:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to stop time (i know it wont really happen) and try to remember things. I am going to post every Monday about the best memory i have of my weekend. This one isnt from this past weekend but it is what we have been doing almost every weekend. Going for a bike ride on the boardwalk. It is my favorite thing to do lately. Callie on the back of my bike and Jocelyn riding her "pink lighting" (thats the name she gave her bike) and my husband riding with us. Its free its beautiful and its family!!! Sometimes i wish i could stop time and just stay in these moment! I know i cant so i guess this is the next best thing!

Fresh Start

2009-09-13T04:57:00.000-07:00

July 1st we moved into a little Cape house in a town called Oceanside. It is a small house, as most Capes are, but it is so sweet and has just enough charm and character for my small family.
The only problem is that the colors did NOT fit this house nor did they fit my style.
I am a big fan of color and bold patterns but i also think that you should go with the style and location of a house.

The kitchen is a brand new kitchen. New appliances, cabinets and counter tops. Not quite what i have picked but nice just the same. And since we are renting i cant really be too picky. The color on the other hand was beige and had a maroon and green wallpaper border with a faux paint boarder above that. Nice for some people but not me and my orange pots and pans!

After going through 15 different paint samples and tons and tons of research on the computer, i decided to go with a really nice blue color.

I am going to carry it through into my living room and in the hallway into the bathroom also.
I think with all the white molding and all the different doorways the same color will bring an openness to the small rooms and short walls.

and here is the after..................................

its amazing to me what a little color can do

My next task this week is to finish my living room. I really need to hang some pictures and pain these walls!!! The transformation is going to take a while, but we are going to be in this place for a while so i am excited about all of the possibilities

I

summer lovin'

2009-08-23T05:17:00.001-07:00

I started off this summer wanting to do tons of crafty projects for my new apartment and get my life together. I had the list ready and waiting to be crossed off. But instead I did the opposite of get myself together, I forgot about "normal" life and decided to live like i was in high school again. I spent my summer break hanging at the beach and spending time with my family.

I really remembered this summer what life is really all about. Its not about the things that you have or the color of your wall. It isnt about the cars you drive or if you house is clean enough for your friends to come over. For a while now I have been letting my life pass by. My house was clean but i had no one to come over and see it. I have a minivan and nowhere to go. A cell phone but I never called anyone.
I think that people get so busy with life and the things we have to do that we forget what its all about. Its about Love, family, friends and relationships.

My house can be cleaned later. Crafts can be finished in the morning. My kids are only 5 and 2 once! Im going to go enjoy the hurricane and go play in the rain!

my summer

2009-07-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

I feel like summer has just started and it is almost over!
It was not very "summer like" untill 2 weeks ago. i was still wearing jeans and a sweatshirt at night. .
But the humidity and heat have kicked in and it finally feels like summer.

Alan just left for his 2 week mission trip to Brazil. So while he is away i will be getting my little things done around the house.

I look forward to posting!

what its 2009??

2009-05-22T04:13:00.000-07:00

I know that sounds like a funny statement, since it is already the end of May, but seriously????!!!!
I woke up with early with my 2 year old after going to bed too late and i was in a surprisingly good mood. I don't know what it is about my husband having a day or two off that makes me feel like i can stay up late. My kids (at least one of them) will be up at 6:30.

I have been thinking a lot about the fact that i have a 5 1/2 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. I have a husband that i have been married to for 6 1/2 years and all before 30. I really feel like i blinked and I am in 2009.
I am so happy and grateful that i live the life i live. I am excited for the next stage in my life. I don't know what the future is going to hold. Am I going to have more kids? Are we going to own a house? I hope we do because i have wayyyyy to many ideas to use on an apartment.
I have decided today that i am going to try to live right in this very moment. Not take for granted one single minute of my life.
I get to stay home with my children and watch them grow and learn. I have a loving husband who cherishes me. a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear and i am able to go to Florida at least once a year!!
seriously my life is awesome!

try to enjoy life a little more today.

she did it again!

2009-04-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

I really should write more on this blog. I am not sure why I don't, but i am going to try to do it at least once a week. I have had a lot going on the past few weeks. Two family friends have passed away and I have been watching both of my nephews during the week. It has been a great time but has left me with pretty much zero free time.

So since my sister in law tagged me I guess it gives me an excuse to come on here.

Rules:
Respond and rework: answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention.

What’s your current obsession?

I haven't really had time to have an obsession, but if i had a minute to think about things.....I have been pretty obsessed with eating right. I know it sounds crazy, but since i am so physically drained i need to pay attention to what is going into my body so that i can have as much energy as possible.
Also, taking pictures. It is such a great time of year in NY. The weather is beautiful (most days) and the colors are so BRIGHT! My subjects are usually my kids and my nephews!
This is Callie and my nephew Devon.

And last....fashion. I have found a new love. Clothes and what looks good and what doesn't. Finding trends that are cozy, timeless, trendy and look good on me.

What’s your weirdest obsession?

Probably General Hospital. I know its bad but I love it! I have been watching it for years! Since i was in 6th grade!

What are you wearing today?

A blue hoodie, jeans and my glasses. This is my daily outfit when i have all the kiddo's.

Why is today special?

It is Saturday! That is special enough isn't it??!!

What would you like to learn to do?
I am going to copy Tiffany and say Sew. So many of my issues would be solved if i could sew well.

What was the last thing you bought?

Pit Stop! I had an awesome salad

What are you listening to right now?

Cars, rain and kids eating cheese doodles

What’s your favorite weather?
I have two favorites.
One is the weather in southern California. It is dry warm and sunny!! Never too hot and never too cold

The second is Fall in Long Beach. Crisp cool air and the sun shining. Jeans and sweatshirt weather!

What’s your most challenging goal right now?

Weight Loss and Taking care of these kiddos.

What do you think about the person who tagged you?
I love her!! Not only is she my sister in law and she gives me advice on how to be married to a Man when you don't like to be hugged =) but she is also beautiful, smart and incredibly talented!!

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
NYC!!!!

Favorite vacation spot?

Florida! Because this can happen everyday!!!!

What would you like to have in your hands right now?
Either a really nice leather purse with money it it or a GIANT non fat latte

What would you like to get rid of?

my credit card payments and my gut

Which language do you want to learn?

i would like to learn Spanish. We are going to Spain in a few years and i want to be able to order dinner and sound nice. (i better get on that one)

What super power would you like to possess?

I want the power Peter had in Heroes before he got it taken away. He could get any power from anyone he ever came in contact with .

What’s your favorite thing about the city you live in?

That it is a 45 min train ride into NYC

Outside of your family, who inspires you most in your life? (This is the question I replaced one for)
Wow this one is really hard. I am not sure. I think moms inspire me at the moment. Especially mothers who have raised children and have friendships with them. It is a hard job to be a mother and i think that if you can get through it, raise your kids to be a respectful and loving adults AND come out having a great relationship with your kid then what more can you ask for?

What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?

Right at the moment my hoodies.. and..I have this really cute cotton sun dress with pockets.

What’s your dream job?

A photographer

If you had $150 now what would you spend it on?

I would probably put it in savings because we are trying to save money and pay off debt. Or i would put it towards the Florida fund

Do you admire anyone’s style?

I like Jessica Alba and Drew. The have the laid back jeans and tee shirt thing but with a little fem rocker touch.

What are you most proud of?

The fact that i have lived my life so far as me. Living my life and sticking with what i believe in. Its a hard thing to do when you want to please people all the time.

The second rule to this post is to tag 7 people you would like to learn more about.

Can't wait to learn more about all of you!

all two of you who read this =)

2009-03-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have been away for a while. Away from here not on vacation. (I wish)
My sister in law has inspired me once again to do some changes in my house. So i will be posting some pictures later on with updates on that.

But in the meantime I will share a few photos of my girlies.
Jocelyn lost her first tooth a few months ago. She is getting so big. She said last night while

he was half asleep on my bed.."mommy, I love Jesus with my whole heart. I love everything else with just a little part. I love you and daddy A lot but not as much as Jesus" Minny Alan????

Callie is a bundle of joy. She demands your attention in a good way. All smiles and hugs! I cant believe she is already 2 1/2!!!

My life has been a little crazy. I feel as if i am watching things fly by me and i just cant get a hold of them. I think that is why people who have older children say " it was just yesterday..."
So my goal for this week has been to try to really sit and take in the things around me. Really watch my children and see the little things that make them special.

I also have found that for a short time my children became my life. I am a stay at home mom and i do enjoy it. I am blessed to be able to stay home with them and still make ends meet. BUT, when i am 40 years old (i know its not old but my oldest will be 20) i dont want to be figuring out what i love to do.

SO i am finding an outlet. I havent yet found just one thing so i am trying many. I love photography and i love decorating. When i was in High school all i did was sit and listen to music and write in my journal. So i have started doing that again. A friend of ours just made a copy of every U2 cd ever made so its been easy figuring out what to listen to. Side note....they really are an AWESOME band!

hope in times of trouble.,,,

2009-01-09T10:52:00.001-08:00

I am sitting here at my desk looking out my window and realizing that i am so very blessed. My children are in bed screaming even though they are supposed to be napping, the husband is out getting our (hopefully) soon to be truck inspected , laundry is all over my floor needing to be put away, the bathroom desperately needs to be cleaned and yet i am content.
It has been rough the past few months. The highs were so very high and the lows were the lowest. From weddings to miscarriages it has been so very hectic.
I have come to a place in my heart where i am ok where i am. I have a peace and a hope in my heart.
Everything is going to be alright

life as i knew it.....in pictures at least

2009-01-03T16:56:00.000-08:00

Life has hit me like a ton of bricks. So, I will share what has happen in the past few months in the way i wish to see it.
My sweet baby girl turned 5 Dec 17th! i cannot believe it! but before that we had family in town.

These are the times i chose to remember

feeling old

2008-11-06T12:20:00.000-08:00

Once again i am using a post from my sister in laws blog. (theothertiffany.blogspot.com)

i am making a fun "to do" list. 27 things do do before i turn 27. i have a whole year pretty much since i just turned 26 in august. this should be fun.

1. Have more fun with my children.
2. Make my marriage more of a priority.
3. finish decoration my bedroom
4. read 2 books a month (suggestions please)
5. Journal EVERYDAY
6. start my garden
7. have another baby
8. save more money
9. be content where i am
10. be a better friend
11. bake more (from scratch)
12. keep my house clean
13. have a theme night at my house costumes and all
14. make a girls night happen at LEAST 2 times a month
15. go on a fun trip
16. print out my pictures and put them in frames or albulms
17. stop watching so much tv
18. go to the gym 4 times a week (i am almost at this one. i have been going 3 times a week for 4 months)
19. make a special time every week where i spend time with each one of my girls alone doing something they love.
20. buy a new pair of shoes once a month
21. forgive more
22. judge less
23. learn how to REALLY use my sewing machine
24. learn how to make clothes for my children
25. pray more
26. LOVE more
27. write more letters to the people i love!

Words Well Written

2008-11-06T05:28:00.001-08:00

No matter your response to the politics and policies of President-elect Barak Obama, Americans can be proud of two things today.

First, we can be proud that in spite of a long, and often times hard, campaign there will be a peaceful transition of government. This is certainly not the case for many of the countries of the world. Yet, we know that young democracies long to see the day of peaceful transition. They can look to the United States as an example of hope because of how we will handle this transition.

Second, America has proven once again that the people will correct a wrong. This is primarily because America was founded on and has been rooted in the Christian value of justice. Two-hundred and twenty-one years ago, the Founding Fathers struggled with the horror of slavery. Unfortunately, after a long debate and a desire to unite a new country, they wrote into the Constitution that African slaves were to be counted as three-fifths of a human being in the representative democracy that was being born.

One-hundred and forty-seven years ago, the nation entered into a bloody civil war that had brother fight against brother, and saw the loss of life of hundreds of thousands of young men. Ostensibly the war had to do with the rights of the states versus a strong centralized government, as well as economic concerns; though much of the argument centered on the abolition of slavery. The states of the South argued for a free white man’s power and right to hold others in bondage. Although slaves were set free, the sin of racism continued in the form of segregation—whether legal or de facto segregation. Even the Supreme Court ruled in favor of “separate but equal” education.

It was only forty years ago that a presidential candidate won the votes of 10 million Americans despite having declared as a governor, “I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say, segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.”

It was only fifty-two years ago that a young women, Rosa Parks, refused to give up her seat on a bus to a white man. It was only forty-five years ago in front of the Lincoln Memorial that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King delivered the “I have a Dream” speech which stirred a generation of Americans to work for justice and equal rights for people of color. And that speech continues to stir the hearts of people today. It was only forty-four years ago that the Civil Rights Act was signed, and then a year later the Voting Rights Act. It was only forty years ago that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated. And over the past four decades we have seen African Americans become Governors, Mayors, Legislators, Senators, and high ranking officials in the Cabinet of the President. We have seen African Americans in the professions of America. Now we have an African American President.

My father use to tell me that I should be proud to be American, because it was a country where anyone could grow up and become President. Yesterday my father’s words became a real truth. Americans can be thankful that the world has seen that America truly is a country with a dream of liberty and equality, and that the two are not opposed to each other.

President Barak Obama faces many challenges and Americans will always remain loyal to their President. There will be a loyal opposition who will work with President Obama when they agree with him, and will criticize him when he is wrong. But first and foremost they will be Americans.

Now American Christians must continue to obey the Scriptures to submit to the governing authorities for their authority comes from God. We pray for those who have authority over us so that we may lead quiet and peaceful lives.

There are, however, losers in this election. The rights to life for the pre-born and the elderly are still under attack. Abortion will remain legal (but never lawful). Thousands of babies will continue to die. And, it is most likely that the new President will appoint at least two Supreme Court Justices who will be pro-abortion. These justices will most likely vote on the side of the culture of death that legalizes abortion, as well as euthanasia, genetic engineering, and embryo stem cell research.

Americans must still deal with the greed, consumerism, materialism, and hedonism that have infected the soul of the nation. A great deal of the support of slavery and legalized segregation had to do with economics. Just as today abortion is pushed in America, and around the world, as an economic solution to poverty; or it is embraced by many as an alternative to pregnancy, because those pregnancies would interfere with a materialistic and consumer-driven life style.

It was religious leaders that rose up in the abolition movement who ended slavery. Many paid a great price for freedom. It was religious leaders who rose up to end segregation in America. It continued throughout the years to be the religious community that spoke for social justice for all people.

The religious community must be a strong voice for the rights of those who cannot speak for themselves—particularly the pre-born. We can be optimistic. It took a generation to end segregation, achieve voting rights, and finally have an African American in the White House. Something most of us never thought would happen in our generation. I believe, because God is on our side, we can end abortion in one generation.

Every member of the International Communion of the Charismatic Episcopal Church should support CEC for Life, because it is committed to prayer, to the humanizing of all life, and the empowerment of a new generation of those fighting for life and justice for the least among us.

By living the gospel American Christians will continue to be the Church. They will serve the King of Kings, who remains on the throne of the Kingdom that will never end. The Church will continue to preach the truth. The Church will continue to speak for justice and mercy. The Church will continue to reach out with the Good News in words and actions to the least, the lost, and the lonely. The Church will defend the pre-born by preaching the truth that Jesus came to bring life, and bring it in abundance.

May the whole International Communion pray for the American Church and for the American people.

Under His mercy,
The Most Rev. Craig W. Bates,
Patriarch, ICCEC

whoo hooo!!!!

2008-10-31T11:50:00.000-07:00

there is going to be a new blog soon i promise. i have video and pictures from callie's bday. AND im painting my bedroom!!! yay. no more peachy pink color

She's Two!

2008-10-24T05:56:00.001-07:00

I cant believe it! Two years ago today i was getting ready for a doctors visit. Little did i know that at 9pm i would give birth to this sweet little thing.
she was a such a sweet baby! She just kinda chilled! =)
well two years later...she is still sweet and happy! she just hangs out where ever i am. She is such a good child. its amazing!

Happy Birthday to my Sweet Callie Faye!

crafty kids

2008-10-08T16:37:00.000-07:00

So since i have NO artistic ability when it comes to painting. I decided to take my brother and sister in laws idea and have my kiddos make some art.!
They had such a great time doing it!!! and crayola makes a finger paint. It cost like 20 dollars. That paint and everything!

My house may be a mess but hey i have cute art hanging in my living room!

my ham and cheese

2008-09-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

i want to share a photo with you of my baby!
This is one of my favorite Callie moments. Just like all 2year old's, Callie is VERY into Elmo and Dora. One day i was going through all of Jocelyn's old clothes and found these pj's. IF you cant tell. They have Elmo, cookie monster , and big bird on them. Now i can remember Jocelyn wearing these and have a very cute picture of he in them. So, i was feeling a little nostalgic and decided to take a picture after bath time of the girls in the pj's.
When Alan got the girls dressed for bed that night Callie was sooooooo excited she couldn't even contain herself!!
I asked her to show me her jammies and this is what happen.......

she is soo cute i cant stand it sometimes =)